Into the Show

Into the Show is the first episode of Wood Job!

Keith recieves a reality shock
The music is in the air. A young, blonde haired troubadour plays the violin cheerfully in an inn located in the MainLands, the most important part of the kingdom. Lots of tired farmers are singing happily, while drinking big beer cups. The inner himself, is haing fun behind the bar, singing too, but also cleaning it with a dirty piece of cloth, while looking at the clients, just in case a fire could light up in the place.

A man in a corner, looks to the roof, as if there was nothing more beautiful in the world. He dresses as a typical farmer from the MainLands, and has a long, black beard, dirty as can be. His dizzy face reveals he's higher on the alcohol than he should be. A waiter comes to his table.

- Is there anything I can do for you, sir? - Asks him, calmly.

- Yeah... - He speaks slowly, with huge stinky breaths that change the waiter's face colour. - More beer for me! And for all my friends! - Shouts him, at the top of the table. Everyone cheers, as the waiter runs off, and he sits back on his chair. Then, the door opens, and a man enters in the inn, dressed with elegant clothing, not usually seen in the inns of the MainLands.

- Searching for a room, sir? - Asks the inner, as the singing and the conversations flee in the air.

- Sir? - Asks the young man, showing now his face. - Don't you recognize me?

- Sweet Lord! - Shouts an old farmer. - Isn't it Lil' Jimmy?

- Yes! It's me! - He puts his cloak on a coat stand, and sits on a chair. - Beers for you all! - Everyone cheers, and get to sing again, as the man who was on the center of attention glares at the newcomer. Corks can be seen flying, as people drink, and the newcomer goes to sit in front of the man, while nobody seems to care.

- Hello, Keith. - ays him, kindly. - How has life been?

- Go away, Jim. - Complains him. - You and snooby clothes mut be leaving this place in less than one minute.

- What's wrong?

- What are you doing in here? - Asks Keith. - You seem to be lucky, have money. Why are you back at the crappy village you were born at?

- Well, I precisely came searching for you. - Responds him.

- How's that? - Asks Keith, as he drinks from a bottle.

- Remember when I left this place? - Says him. - We were teens, and I wanted a bright future, with success, and I left the village only with my dreams, to go to a bigger city.

- Yeah, I know that part. - Cuts Keith. - But what happened after that?

- Well, after a couple of years of hard work, I got a position at the mayor's office... and know what? - Says him, happily. - Now I am the mayor myself!

- Woah. Impressive. Claps for you. Great job. - Says him, in deadpan.

- Hey, don't be jealous. I said I was here for you... I am going to offer you a spot.

- On the mayor's office? - Says him. - Not interested.

- Oh, no, no. Nothing to do with that. - Explains Jim. - Remember when we were kids, and you used to be the narrator when we played to be knights?

- Yes. You all told me I had great skills on that...

- Well, as Mayor, I want to make a show with teens or at least young people competing in dangerous challenges, for the people to view that at their homes, spending money on the complete MirrorWatch set, something that will give us huge funds... And we need a host, so...

- What? You want ME?! - Shouts Keith. - But I am just a filthy farmer! Why me?

- Because you are my friend. And it's important to be kind to those who matter to you.

- Really?

- And you are also the best hosting, so, yeah. You accept?

Keith looks at Jim one last time, and also checks the place, and the bottle on his hand. He then, sighs, and looks again at his friend.

- Fine.

- Great. I knew you would accept. - He gets a contract, and gives Keith a quill. He signs, as Jim smiles.

I'M ON A BOAT
- Greeting and salutations to all the viewers! - A Keith with a new, more fashionable hair cut, and no sign of his long beard pops up in front of the screen. - My name is Keith, and I will be your host during this amazing show! - He shows the background, a forest. - In this reality TV season, sixteen contestants of between 16 and 22 years, will be competing in dangerous challenges, involving magic, fights, and really weird and disturbing creatures! The cast will be divided in two teams, that will fight against each other in each challenge. The losing team will have to vote out one member, that will be sent home via Canoe of Departure and that will NEVER be comming back. - He moves his hands, abruptly. - But well, I think I've already told too much. Aren't you excited to meet the cast? They are right there, comming on a boat! - He points at the river, as a luxurious boat is sailing up.

A young girl, wearing maid clothes, looks forward the forest, with the sun shinning on her face. She smiles, with her arms leaning in the boat's rail. Suddenly...

- Hey, brother! There's a girl oer there! She's going to fall! - A voice says, causing the girl to turn around. She sees another girl, visibly younger, with a pink jumper, a purple skirt, and two blonde braids running to her.

- Oh, hi! - Says she. - Is there anything wrong?

- So, you weren't about to jump? - Asks her.

- Oh! You thought I was going to? My life sucks, but not that much. - Trying to break the ice.

- Sorry about that... - comments the other girl.

- It's not your fau-... - But she gets cut, when a blonde boy runs in.

- Gretel! - Screams the boy. - Is she ok? Not out of her mind? Cukoo?

- I am fine... - Says the older girl, and then, looks at their similar faces, their freckles and their blonde hair. - Are you two releated or something?

- Yes. - Says the girl. - He's my brother, Hansel. And I am Gretel. How're ya doin'? Aside from not trying to jump, I mean.

- I am fine. My name's CC, by the way. Nice to meet you. - She offers her hand, as Gretel shakes it, and Hansel also shakes it, and shakes both girls on the way.

- Sorry about him... - Excuses Gretel. - He isn't really smart... He's a moron, in fact.

- Hey! Now talking Mrs. Smartass! - Complains him, as CC watches. - You still carry a candy cane as your necklace even after what we faced! - He breaks her necklace, and she gasps.

- How dare you? - Screams her. - If it wasn't for me, we would both be dead!

- I was the one to come up with the plan! - ´Shouts him in return.

- WHAT?! - She recieves the final shock. - That's it, I am not talking to you.

- You're not talking to me because I am not talking to you! - Says him, and both give each other their backs, with offended looks, not noticing CC has already left.

CC sneaks to the snack table, and crashes with another girl there, this one, with luxurious clothes, a pink fancy princess dress, and a small crown on her hair.

-  Ooops! Sorry, Miss! - She hurries.

- No, it's my mistake! - Says her in return. - I wasn't looking where I was going. I am sorry.

- No problem. - Says her, and gives her a hand. - My name's CC.

- Nieves. - The other girl shakes her hand a bit concerned, but still, manages to freeze her smile.

CC keeps walking, as a new character pops next to Nieves. This one is a guy in also expensive clothes, easy to be guessed as a prince.

- Well, well, well, lady. - He smiles, showing all his teeth. - Now that the filthy peasant is gone, we can talk better. I am Jack, but you can call me Prrrrince Jackrming.

- Ew. - Nieves walks off, leaving him confused.

- Resistance. - He says. - I like it! - And follows her, with the same smile, as another guy is shown to be on the snack table too. He sees a cheese plate, and gets a knife out of his boot, to cut a slice.

- Easy, buddy! - A voice is heard. - You don't have to be that agressive. The boy looks around, and sees nothing, until he looks at the floor, and notices a dwarf girl that is as tall as his hips.

- Woah! - He walks aside.

- Any problem with the dwarves, mate?

- Sorry. - He excuses. - Didn't know there were female dwarves. And I've never seen a dwarf before...

- Not many have... - She points out. - We usually stay at our mines, digging for gold and jewels to feed up the kingdom... We're a really left of focus species...

- I'll never think less of dwarves again, I swear. - He comically puts his hand on his chest. - But, tell me your name.

- Drowsy.

- What? You want a pillow? Do dwares talk in codes?

- No, that that's my name, Drowsy.

- Is that even a name?

- Well... Let me tell you a weird story... The dwares hatch from eggs, that are randomly made down on the mines, on a certain temperature. The dwarf that first finds the hatched egg and the baby dwarf, is the one to name it, and must name it after an adjective, that will define the dwarf's personality. I guess the adjective of the one who found my egg was "Jerk" or "Troll". I hope I'll find him someday... - She touches her fist.

- My name's Dallas. I also have a complicated story, and... - He realises she's falling asleep. - Ok. See you later... - And walks off.

- Hi, Dallas! - He turns, and sees a girl in a white hoodie, with a hipster glasses, and a blue beanie. Her long dark hair makes her soft white face to be brighter. The table covers her legs, that aren't seen.

- Hi! - He stops. - Do I know you?

- No. - She laughs. - But I've heard your name when you were talking to the dwarf. My name's Erica, by the way.

- Nice to meet you, then. - He offers her a hand, and recieves a tentacle in return, which shocks him. - What?! You're a...

- Cecaelia. - She finishes. - Yeah. Eight tentacles, and that stuff.

- Well... aren't you supposed to live underwater?

- Unlike mermaids, cecaelias can leave the water without many issues...

- Seems like I still have a lot to learn... - Says him. Scene then shows another guy, sitting on a deck chair. A girl passes by, and sits to the next deck chair.

- Hi. - Says the guy. - My name's Elliot. Prince Elliot, actually.

- A prince, huh? - Now the girl seems more interested, and pays attention to him, as she turns, and reveals her eyes to have lots of eyeliner, and her lips to be really painted. She also wears fake eyelashes, and on her red hair, a tiara with two wolf ears is seen. She wears a red top that shows her enormus breasts, with the letter "BITCH" written on it. She also wears incredibly short shorts, and a fake tail attached to it. - I am Wolf.

- Wolf? - Aks him. - What are you exactly?

- A hard worker... - She explains. - Whose job requires this ridiculous outfit...

- Going for a drink... - He says, now scared of her face. - See you...

- Yeah, see you. - She rolls eyes, as a new guy sits on the spot Elliot just left.

- Heeeeell-O! - Says the guy, who remminds to Tom, with his hair dyed in black and white, and a expensive coat and a couple of feminine boots.- My name's Garrett. Garrett De Vil. How are you, hoe?

- What you just called me? - Wolf looks mad.

- Hey, it's a joke, chill your pussy. - He comments. - I just came here cause I see you need urgent help with that terrible make up you have...

- Nobody asked you for help, and less me. Go away before I throw a shoe to you!

- Ok, ok. - He leaves, wishpering. - Bitter ass bitch.

Another guy sits on the spot, and Wolf doesn't even bother to look at him.

- Well, hi. - He says.

- Hi. - She turns around, and is amazed. In front of her, there is a wooden young man, about 21 years old. He dresses a beanie, and a jacket like Shawn's but is entiretely made of wood, from the bottom to the top, even his blue eyes.

- I am Pinocchio. You maybe have heard about me...

- Yeah... - She's still shocked. - But weren't you a real kid? Well, man...

- It's far more comlicated that what the story says... - He answers.

- Back. - Elliot appears, with two cups. - Oh, hi. My name's Elliot.

- Pinocchio.

- And I am Wolf.

- You're in my sit... Mind to allow me sit here again?

- Sure... - Pinocchio leaves, as Elliot gives a cup to Wolf, that is still staring at Pinocchio.

- Heheheh... - Another guy looks from behind a wall, revealing to have heard everything. He puts on a hat that has a skull on it, and grabs a cane, as he advances on the boat.

- We're arriving! - Shouts a girl dressed in a swan dress, like the one from RR's fifth episode. - Can't wait to kick some ass!

- Unless you're the one to be kicked... - Comments the cane guy.

- Not funny. -  She says. -  Hey, everyone! - They all look at her.- My name is Ruth, and I am so winning this! You guys should give up before I finish you... - Some roll eyes, as the cane guy looks amused with her words. - Who are you? Why do you think this is funny?

- Sorry, I haven't introduced properly. *He bows* I am Richard Facilier, but you can call me simply Rick. And I laugh cause you're face is darn ridiculous. Is that a fake beauty mark? - He's about to touch it, but Ruth slaps his hand.

- Don't touch me! - She says, as he glares.

- No need to fight, guys! - Comments CC. We're already here!

- Yes, you are! - Says Keith, as the boat reaches the Dock. - Welcome to Wood Job!

Make Up and Making Up
Keith is in front of a huge door of a castle, on his best clothes, still with his old hairstyle and beard.

- Who's there? - Asks a soldier, from the walls.

- My name's Keith. - Says him, slowly. - I am here for the hosting thing.

- Oh, you? - The soldier's voice sounds surprised. - Get in, then. - The doors open, and Keith walks into the castle. He is shown then to have found a room full with people that is running from place to place, with many scripts, mirrors and clothes.

- Keith! - Jim pops in, and leans his arm on Keith's shoulders. - So glad you decided to come!

- Yeah, nice to see you too... - He says, as they kee moving between the crowds. - But what's all this people doing?

- They're getting some shows ready. We're planning to kick off many series that the citizens will totally love! Maybe even the Golden Kingdom will want them to air in there...

- You mean I'll be seen on the Golden Kingdom? - Asks him.

- And so much more, if you succeed. - He moves theatrically his arms. - The guys will look after your script, and you'll be able to read what we need you to say...

- Thought I was the host... - He says, confused. - I don't decide what I do?

- Well, mostly... But there are important facts that you need to point out... and some good puns too! Marie! The script! - A woman gives him a huge notebook. - You have to learn all of this.

- What?! But I don't even know how to read! - He complains.

- Meh, you'll learn fast! We've the best teachers of the MainLands! - He says. - And with that, there's only one issue we need to fix...

- Which?

- Your looks, cause Oh, my Geegh... You look like you haven't taken a shower for years!

- What's a shower?

- Nevermind. We have a professional guy that will fix that! - He claps his hands - Garrett!

Garrett runs to his side.

- At your service, sir! - He says, bowing.

- I have a job for you... - He grabs Keith's shoulders and pushes him to the front. - Turn this peasant into a hunk!

- Eeeek! - He screams, in fear. - You should ask a Fairy Godmother, hun, cause, like, I'll need a miracle on that...

- You know, you'll need a miracle after I am done with your face... - Keith prepares to punch him, but Jim pulls him back.

- Easy, he's just joking! - Jim says. - And Garrett, get to work. We pay you for something, Mr. De Vil.

- Like, no need to be that rude... - He grabs Keith's arm, and pulls him. - Let's go... - He carries him to a sit, and starts cutting his hair.

- So... Your surname is De Vil?

- Yeah, so? - He says, as he uses the scissors.

- Are you on Cruella De Vil's family?

- Oh, my Gosh. Don't tell me you believe in that crap! - He says, annoyed. - My mother's name is Adellaine, not Cruella or other bullshit.

- And you know where does the story come from?

- Well, my mom was a great fashion designer... They simply hate her because she once used rabbit fur on a coat she made for a conference. She wanted to look like a celebrity, excentric, you know... I can't say I agree with what she did, but everyone started to call her cruel, and that she killed animals for her coats, like dogs or bears. I swear she has never made that, like, seriouslly! - As he's shaving Keith's beard. - Guess the name Cruella came from there...

- How old are you? - Keith asks, with difficulty, as he's recieving a shaving.

- Eighteen years old, ready to start on my fashion designer career... I am working as an intern in here, but they still pay me somehow... Jim does want to look like a really good and careful leader...

- Eighteen years? - He says. - You could be competing on this show, then!

- I tried. - He says, with sadness. - But they rejected me, telling me I was better applying make up... The money would come in handy...

- Yeah...

- Well, that's it! Done! - He finishes. - You like it?

- Wow! - Keith looks at the mirror, speechless. - I do look like someone else...

- Someone better, sweetcheeks! - He says. - Let's go and see what Jim has to say about it!

- Let's go! - He says, and as he's about to leave, he stops, and turns. - Oh, and Garrett...

- Sup? - He asks.

- Thank you. - And walks off.

Introducing...
- Welcome to the Magic woods, here in the MainLands! - Keith appears saying. - This is your first day in this incredible show that will be Wood Job!

- Nice pun! - Jack's smile shines.

- Thanks, Jack. - Keith isn't impressed. - Remember, in this show, you'll have to face multiple deadly challenges, and that you have signed a contract that includes your personal allowance to compete in any of those...

- We know! - Says Ruth. - Can we move on, please?

- Ruth, isn't it? - She nods. - They warned me about your bad temper. - She glares. - Well, I have to tell you soon that today's challenge will end up in no elimination!

- Cool! - Says CC.

- Not that cool. - Comments Richard. - Why are the non elimination episodes for?

- They are to give the audience more food. - Explains. - And this one has nice rewards... The ones to win it, will be the ones to select the teams!

- Good! - Says Jack. - Even when I don't need a team, I have to be captain afterall!

- So, what does the challenge consist on? - Asks Dallas.

- As you can see, you are fourteen, while I explained before that you're sixteen. - Says Keith. - This challenge is about finding the two people that are missing in the woods. This two are magic, on different ways, and can give power to whoever finds them. The two ones that find each wil be selecting the teams. Still, those two will have to include the person they've found on their own team.

- Doesn't seem so hard... - Says Erica.

- Once you get in the forest, you'll understand... - Says Keith. - But, right now, I say... GAME ON!

The contestants run, pushing each other appart. As Hansel and Gretel run with an offended face, side by side, Richard's shadow seems to be on his own, pulling some other sadows behind, causing the contestants to fall behind too. Garrett runs ridiculously, Dallas soon climbs up a tree, while Drowsy simply walks as if she was asleep.

CC trips with a root, and finds someone offering her a hand. It's Jack.

- Hello, Lady. - He helps her up. - My name is Jack, but you can call me Prince... Eeew!

- Prince Eeew? - Asked her.

- You're a peasant! - He screams.

- Yeah... I guess... Why?

- Thought you were a hot princess in here! - He complains. - But you're nothing else than a filthy little peasant girl! Next time, tell me before going on prince mode... - He walks off, annoyed.

- Excuse me? -She looks annoyed. - What do you mean, with that?

- Pretty sure he's just another arrogant man. - Wolf appears, next to her. CC jumps. - Sorry, wasn't planning to scare you... My name's Wolf. Wanna team up?

- You'll team up with me? - Says CC.

- Sure, girl.

- But I'll probably only slow you down... I am not a real jock, or specially skilled in anything...

- And should that concern me? - Wolf asks. - You look cool!

- Thanks... - CC blushes.

- No problem. And don't listen to jerks like tat one. Most of the men are just like him. Tell me about it, I've known many... - She rolls eyes. - Let's go that way, I am feeling lucky!

- Ok. - CC says. - By the way, my name's Cinderella, but everyone calls me CC.

- Nice to meet you, CC. - She continues. - Let's win this!

Richard looks from behind a tree, revealed to have heard it all. He makes a mischievous smile.

- I am sorry if I haven't introduced myself properly... - Says him, in the confessional. - My name is Richard Facilier. I am in this game to win the money, and just that. I won't explain why, but I do need it a lot, and not to make my life more comfortable... I'll just say that I am not afraid of breaking necks in my way to victory. And I have magic... - His hand creates a green fire ball, as his shadow, beind him, moves on his own. - I've read the rules of this show with many instructions that prevent me from using it on certain situations and on certain uses... but I've always been an expert finding loopholes.

- Hey, you! - Ruth walks in, pointing at Richard's face with a rude expression. - You think you're really funny, don't you?

- Oh, my! - He puts his hand on his chest. - What have I done?

- Well, you don't know anything from me, but you still insulted me in front of everyone! - She complains. - So, wy did you do that?

- You were acting preppy... And I can't stand this kind of people...

- Well, this is just a warning... Get out of my way, and I'll get out of yours!

- Whatever. - He shrugs. - You are no big deal, but it's fine. Still, I think we could form a great alliance...

- Me, and you?! - She says. - Don't make me laugh! There's no way you and I will form an alliance! Ever! - She walks away.

- Oh, we'll see... - Says him, again with an evil smile.

Did the Jim eat your tongue?
- Oh, my God! - Jim says. - Garrett did an amazing job! You look incredible!

- Thanks, I guess... - Says awkwardly Keith. - But I don't feel like I am being myself, you know...

- Doesn't matter! You just have to be a host, and this looks will totally sell it! - He stops, and shouts. - Told you guys he has talent! Just look at him! - They walk to the food table, and Jim drinks a latte.

- Hey, why don't you allow Garrett to participate?

- What? - Jim spits the coffee he was drinking. - What has he told you?

- Well, that he has dreams, and wishes to be in and... - Keith is ashamed.

- And you believe him? He's the son of Cruella De Vil! She killed ten foes of her so she could have an original fur coat!

- That's not what he...

- God, Keith! - Jim screams. - He's the motherfucking son of a villain! You really think he would go for te truth? He'll be judged if he does...

- If you think that bad of him, why do you have him working around? - He asks, refusing to believe him.

- Because I am the mayor, and my motto is "Everyone deserves a second chance"! - He screams, as the employees stop their talks. - He may be the son of a villain, but he works so well!

- But you still dislike him?!

- You can give a villain a job, but not actual trust! He's been raised by his mother, you really think he doesn't know how to do something evil properly?

- What do you think he will do? - Keith screams. - He's a freaking teenager!

- I see he has filled your head with his lies... - He gets back to drink, refusng the argument. - Well, not my fault. I need a host, not a friend.

- Thought I was your friend.

- Looks like I can't have friends who think like this. - He shrugs. - Come, I have more things to show you... - He advances, as Keith follows him, glaring. - This is the table of the magic effects! - He shows many bottles. - Look, this are the different kinds of magic dust, perfect for the required effects! - Shows one. - This one has pixie dust, it would make you fly! - Shows a couple bottle more. - This ones are the Dark Fairy Dust, which turns someone into a beetle, and the transportation dust, that brings you a few metres away from your actual place!

- Cool... - He grabs the Dark Fairy Dust bottle.

- Now, follow me, I'll show you the... - He turns. - What are you doing?!

Keith shows the bottle up.

- Stop right there, Jim! - He says. - There are a few things I need to talk with you, and I would rather tak to a human than to a beetle...

Looking for Magic
Dallas appears running throught the woods, jumping from tree to tree.

- It's not as if I was really skilled... - Explains him in the confessional. - You would also be, if you were trained for this. It's simply that I have no time to waste. There's a prize I need to win, and it's not this challenge's. With my many habilities, this game is in my pocket! I never trip...

Dallas jumps over some roots, and trips, crashing to the floor.

- Sorry. - Erica is shown to be there, and that Dallas tripped with one of her tentacles. - Did not see you... It's like you were one tree more... part of the woods...

- Yeah, whatever... - He gets up, and starts walking off.

- Hey, wait! - Erica stops his arm with one of her tentacles. - Wanna team up?

- Team up? - Says him.

- Yes, you know... - Her tentacles move to different directions, making different shapes. - When two people or more decide to work together...

- I know what it means. - He says, rudely. - But, why in the world would you like to team up with me?

- Well, with your forest skills and my many arms... I guess we could be a pretty good team...- She offers him a hand. - Deal?

- Hmmm... - He thinks for a moment. - Deal. - He shakes her hand.

- So, let's go... - She starts walking, but he stops her.

- No. That way. - He points at another direction. - I can sense an alteration in that part. Something that shouldn't be there...

- Magic... - She guesses. - Let's go there, then!

The scene now shows Hansel and Gretel, walking in the forest, not looking at each other, when Elliot falls from behind some bushes.

- Oh, hi! - He says. - My name's Elliot.

- I am Gretel. - She says. - And this is my stupid brother, Hansel.

- I am Hansel. - He cuts. - And this is my obnoxious sister, Gretel.

- You don't even know what that means! - She shouts.

-  Oh, so now you're talking to me?! - He says.

- Only because you're also talking to me! - She yells at his face.

- Please, guys... - Elliot starts. - You're siblings...

- But he's so stupid...

- She's so bossy...

- Still! - He says. - Look, I would love to have a sister or a brother, no matter if we had arguments! I am a lonely child, and I can say I've had a boring life...

- Well... - Gretel starts. - I am so sorry Hansel, I should have never said that! - She starts crying.

- No, I am sorry, Gretel! - He starts crying too. - I went too far... -They hug, both still crying.

- What the hell? - Elliot is in the confessional. - Ok, maybe I don't actually wish I had a brother or a sister... Now arguing and now hugging? - He shrugs.

The scene now shows Pinocchio, walking with Drowsy. She looks as tired as usual, as he takes her drowsiness with humour, moving her direction as a puppet, dodging roots.

- How do you live like this? - Says him laughing.

- It's hard... - She says, in a moment of awardness. - But I am already used to it.. - She feels dizzy, and is about to fall, but he keeps her in her direction.

- Good night, then... - He does a final smile, as they hear a scream. They both run, to see if someone's in danger, until...

- Help! - Nieves appears to have her dress trapped in the bushes. - Finally someone, I don't know how to get out of here!

- Oh, really? - Says Drowsy. - Wake me up when we're metres away from this brat...

- Well, we should help her, don't you think? - Pinocchio comments it, but it's already too late as Drowsy is asleep again.

- Can you do it fast, please? - Asks Nieves, without much patience.

- Sure, princess... - Pinocchio helps her out. - Because that's what you are, right?

- Yes, but not of the MainLands... Of a small kingdom. - She says, as she fixes her hair. - And thanks.

- No problem, miss. - He says. - But allow me to say that you should have brought better clothes for this kind of show.

- And allow me to say that you are an extremely unpolite piece of wood, and that you should really learn how to behave in front of a lady... - She leaves, with trouble, as Droswy opens her eyes.

- Is that one around?

- No. But get back to sleep. - He says, still confused. - Women... Can't live with them, can't live without them...

Every word counts
Keith appears holding the Dark Fairy Dust, aiming at Jim.

- Hey, friend, there must be a good way to solve this... - Says Jim, forcing a smile, but visibly scared.

- Oh, there is, "friend". - Says Keith. - I will peacefully put this down, if you agree with some conditions I'll give...

- You can't do this! - Says Jim, changing his smile for an annoyed look - You are a simple peasant, you can't boss!

- Well, Mr. Mayor, if you remeber, you were also a simple peasant... - Says him in response. - So don't put yourself too high, and remember your roots!

- That's the condition? - He says, and raises bot hands. - Allright, I give up, I am a simple peasant, now put that down!

- Oh, that isn't what I was going to ask for... - Tells Keith. He, then, points at a chair. - Take a sit, cause this will be long...

- Please, Keith. - He says, as he sits down. - Don't do something we'll all regret...

- I won't, Jim. - Keith says. - I just want some things here to be different...

- Go ahead. - Says Jim, looking at his feet. - Scoop it.

- First off... - Keith walks in front of Jim. - I want no scripts. It's the improvisation what counts. I am a host, not an actor. I say what I come up with. I accept suggestions, but not orders or forcments like this. - He points at a copy he has.

- Ok. We can do that. - Says Jim, slowly. - I personally think it's a bad idea but...

- But I am the one holding the Fairy Dust. And I don't accept this suggestion. Mind if I tell my second condition? - Jim shrugs, not looking at his eyes. - Good. I want Garrett to participate in this season.

- But he's a villain! - Says Jim.

- No, his mother is a villain. - Says Keith. - You don't have the right to judge him yet. And, besides, I am sure you have accepted other contestants that are villains in your cast...

- I have. - Says him, after being quiet for a while. - I accept the condition. Anything else?

- Good boy! - Keith pats his head. - And yes, there's a last condition I would like to give... - He adds, as he does an evil smirk to the camera.

Two Magic Entries
Wolf and CC are walking in the woods.

- And then I told him to get away or I would be forced to call the Yellow Guards. - Says Wolf. - That was ow the third stalker finally got away. Yellow Guards usually scare the shit out of everyone.

- I don't understand why they are called like that... - Says CC. - They are the scariest bunch of people around, why having such a ridiculous name?

- Better make sure none of them hears this. - Wolf says, laughing. - I know it doesn't sound so well, but you should hear the stories my granny tells about them...

- Your granny... You live with your granny? - Asks CC.

- Yeah... - Wolf's smile slowly disappears. - I don't wanna talk much about that.

- I was just thinking... You're that little girl that appeared in the newspapers? That girl that was attacked by a wolf?

- Yeah... - Says her, looking to the ground. - That was me.

- Oh! - She says. - And why did you became...? - She covers her mouth. - Sorry, I...

- A stripper? - She asks. - I know, people asks me that usually... I-I don't know... I just... Wait! What's that?!

- What? - Asks CC. - Oh... - She covers her mouth with her hands. At the middle of the forest, a silver wand is floating in a certain spot, surrounded by blue light that comes from the top of the trees. Even some sparkles are seen, getting out of it.

- And, I think we've found what we were lookign for... - Says Wolf. - Wanna grab it yourself or...?

- Or you can allow us to do so, right, partner? - Says Erica, appearing from behind a tree. Dallas appears from behind another, aiming an arrow at the girls.

- Woah, easy! - Wolf raises her hands, as CC looks scared. - Put that down... No need of shooting.

- Oh, he won't. But hand that to me. - Says Erica.

- Wait, why to you? - Asks Dallas.

- Because I am the one who can reach it with my tentacles...

-. I can make a double jump, land there and grab it.

- But you ave to be covering any possible attack way with your arrows. Leave that to me.

- I can smell "BEING USED" all over this words...

- Whatever... - Says Wolf, that grabs the wand. The sky shines, and Wolf does float a bit, with sparkles.

- What's happening? - Asks CC.

- Now we'll have to see... - Says Wolfs, as everyting shines, and a human like shadow appears in front of both. The blue light disappears, and a black young man is in front of them, wearing a white groom suit and a white hat. Everyone looks at him, astonished, as he takes off his at, and bows.

- Hello, dear lady. - He says, looking at Wolf. And adds, as he examines her clothes. - Or whatever you are... - And, before she can complain. - My name is Bruno, and since now, that you've grabbed this wand, I am your fairy godfather.

- You? - Wolf points at him, and laugs. - You?! Hahahah!

- What's wrong with me? - Asks im, offended.

- Well... Hahah... I expected fairies to be females, small, and with wings, ya know... - She says, laughing.

- I can cange to small and with wings, see? - He transforms himself.

- And can you change.. hihih.. to a girl? - She says.

- Oh, that's it! Not being your fairy Godfather! - He, still small, crosses his arms, and turns his back to her.

- Oh, c'mon, don't be mad, tiny pants! - he says. - I don't even want to be your godfater, it was just because I had to do it before those two leeches back there. - She points at Dallas and Erica, behind her.

- Hey! - They both say.

- So, you're swapping the godparentship? - He asks, now interested. - To who?

- My friend CC over there. I feel like she needs a fairy more than I do. - Says her.

- What? - CC suddenly finds herself part of the conversation. - Wolf, don't...

- As if I was actually loosing something. - Wolf says, with a move of her hand. - A small preppy godfather wit ridiculous wings. Sure, you can keep that.

- Really? - Asks her.

- For sure. - Wolf says.

- Well, guess that makes your decision... - Bruno takes the wand, and points at CC, as a blue aura gets out of Wolf's body and enters in CC's. - But you'll regret this. Since now, feel like Godfather funk'd you up.

- Pffft. - Se says. - So scared... - And she examines her nails, as Dallas and Erica look at each other, and shrug. Scene changes to Elliot, walking in the forest.

- Good afternoon, gentleman. - Richard is seen behind a tree, with a leg leaning on it. - Has there been luck on the search?

- Aah! - Elliot screams, before noticing who is there. - Sorry, didn't notice you were here.

- It's something I hear a lot, so don't worry. - He plays with his hat. - So, have you been lucky?

- I guess not. - Elliot hurries. - But at least I have learned a lesson...

- And what's it, Mr...?

- Flint. Elliot Flint. Prince of Gardovese. - He offers him his hand.

- Oh... Prince... - His eyes turn darker for a second, but is seen to be back at normal again. - Richard Facilier. What was the lesson?

- Oh, just that I am glad to be an only child. Saw Hansel and Gretel?

- Oh. - Richard isn't quite able to show his disappointment. - Well, wish you luck finding whatever we have to find...

- Same. - Elliot says, but when he looks, he sees there's nothing were Facilier was.

Elliot walks a bit, hearing the bird's music. He advances a bit, looking at many tree, but he trips and crashes with the ground.

- What the...? - He check what he has tripped with, and finds an old half buried object he can't completely identify. - What's this? - He says, as he gets on his knees, and starts to dig. - What..? - He takes it out, and discovers it's a lamp, an old oil lamp. - Who drops this trash in the forest? What will be next, soda bottles? - He examines it closely. - What is written in it? I can't read... - He rubs the lamp, and a lightning strikes a tree next to him, making him fall to the floor. Lot of smoke gets out of the lamp, as a figure emerges from it.

- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! - It says, covering Elliot's view of the sun.

- Aaaaaah! - Elliot screams, and jumps behind a log, as he takes a knife out of his belt. After thinking for a while, he then, jumps out of behind the log, again on the wood zone, pointing with the knife at the misterious figure.

- Hahahahahah! - The figure laughs hard at his scared face, and now he is able to look better at what it is. Is is simply a girl, with her hair dyed in pink. She is tanned, probably from middle Asia. She wears a leopard top and black leggings, and some Egyptian jewells. - Man, what a face! You were totally like "I have to kill this beast, but I can't prevent myself from pooping"! Dude, some self control!

- Who are you?! - Asks Elliot, as he blushes from anger.

- Oh, right! -  She floats, and melts. She gets formed again behind him, as he looks with a confused face. This time, her legs aren't formed, and her inferior part is made of smoke. Her face transforms into Richard's. - I haven't introduced myself properly... - Says with his voice, and then shapes back. - HI, I'M IRIS! - Four letters appear behind her, forming her name in shinning casino like letters. - And since now, I am your PERSONAL.... GENIE! - Conffetti blows in the air, and she claps. - Excited?

- I-I don't understand... - He says.

- Yeah, I've noticed you don't seem really smart... - She shapeshifts into a brain with a smiling face, and back to the self form, still with smoke legs. - Do I need to sing you a song?

- No, no, it won't be necessary! - He quickly moves his arms, as she, that shapeshifted into a tanned female version of Elvis Presley, changes back. - Just... I don't understand, why me?

- Well, DUH. - She shapeshifts into Ridonculous Race's Taylor. - I am a genie. You rubbed the lamp. You don't have to be a genius to guess this! - Drums appear behind her, making a "Ba dum Tss" effect, as she shapeshifts back.

- Ok... - He says. - Never hard about genies...

- GASP! - She makes as she's really hurt, and poses as she faints.

- Well, It's never too late to learn, huh? -  He winks, as she makes a disgusted face. She grows bigger, and her giant head gets closer to Elliot, glaring.

- Yes! - She shrinks again. - That's actually a good motto! - Before he says a word, she starts to talk again. - Look there are four things the genie magic can't do... - She raises four fingers on her left hand. - We can't change time. No futur, no past. The timeline is all up to you!

- Oh. - He seems to be disappointed.

- I didn't make the rules! - She says. - And you should know I can't either make someone love you, or resurrect someone. Death and Love are actually quite complex to be changed by my magic. Sure there are love potions, but it isn't an actual feeling, and the doses must be given every certain time...

- Looks like you can't do most of the biggest wishes people has... - Elliot says.

- Let me finish, please. It's been six years getting this speech ready. - She points out. - I can't also kill anoyne with my magic. But tis rule isn't the same for everyone. Genies can't kill with magic. But other creatures, including humans who learn it, can.

- B-but what is magic? - He says. - I mean, how is it possible for it to exist?! Thought it was just in tales...

- Are the mermaids just tales, my friend? - She shapeshifts into one. - Or people made of wood are? - She transforms into a female version of Pinocchio. - But, on another side, I understand your doubts... - She turns into a professor, with glasses and a white coat. - Magic is... Well, magic... - She experiments serious doubts. - Whatever! Magic is just some kind of force that's everywhere, at every kingdom, but deeper and easier to use in some. Not everyone can use that kind of force, but those who can, find many different ways. Genie magic is just one of them.

- Oh. - He, kindly discovers she has no idea of what she's saying. - Forget it. I am not here to question the magic, just the genie one. You said I am your master. What does this mean?

- This means that I can grant you tree wishes, excluding the ones I said that can't be done! - She's happy to finally be able to tell someting she knew the answer of. - So, any wish?

- Hmm... Not now. - He says, as a doubt comes to is mind. - How many time do I have to ask the wishes?

- There's no limit. Take the time you need. - She says, as she makes an armchair appear, and sits on it.

- Hmmm... I guess... - He starts, but he gets cut by a loud voice.

- AND THE TEAM CAPTAINS HAVE BEEN ALREADY SELECTED! - Keith's voice sounds in the air. - EVERYONE COME TO THE MEETING AREA, SO WE CAN MAKE TEAMS!

Final Warning
- I gotta admit it, this does feel good. - Says Keith, sitting on a production chair, as a female assistant is working on his hair with hair dryer. - Don't you think so, Jim?

- Hahah. - Jim makes a fake laugh. - You're so funny, Keith.

- Hey, it wasn't my idea to make you be also the janitor, appart from the mayor that produces this... - He does a death glare. - Oh, wait. Yes, it was. - He laughs, as Jim's glare intensifies.

- Are you satisfyed, now? - He asks, as he cleans the floor. - How long will this masquerade last?

- At least, all this first season. - He smiles. - Unless you want to be turned into a cookroach.

- You are so brave, having that in your power... - He says. - But would you actually face me wit a sword? Would you be so brave to do it?

- No, I wouldn't. - Jim says. - I can't do that. I am not a strong guy, or realy brave. I am simply a peasant with a particular talent at improvising. Not a thug, not a gentleman. But I am not stupid enough to face you.

Jim makes an incomprensible muttering, and leaves, annoyed, as Keith smiles. Sortly afterwards, a scream is amde, and a man jumps at him, and hugs him.

- Ugh, I am drowning, Garrett... - Says Keith, as he can.

- T-thank you... - Garrett has tears in his eyes. - Thank you, thank you, thank you! - He squeaks excited.

- No problem, but stop it. Pleased to help you. - He says, as Garrett stops.

- I've just been told I have a chance in! - He is really happy. - Best news I've ever recieved since I was taken out of the crappy village I was living at before comming here!

- I was glad to do that. - He says. - I know the feels of being nobody.

- I will never thank yu enough for this... - Says Garrett. - If there was anything I could do for you...

- You already did, by being nice at me when nobody else here was. - Says Keith, but as Garrett doesn't look happy enough, he adds. - Besides, there's something you can do... - Garrett looks at him. - Win this. Don't let me down. - And winks, as Garrett smiles.

Teaming up
The sixteen contestants are on the same point the whole race in the woods started at. Drowsy is sleeping, leaning on Pinocchio's legs. Bruno is staring at his new godchild, CC, that is playing with her dirty hair. Dallas is carving a flute on a stick, as Erica is looking at his job, thrilled, as the tentacles move on their own. Garrett is working on Nieves' hair, that has allowed him to. Keith finally shows up, drinking from a silver cup.

- I have an important announcment to make. Both team captains have been selected. Or at least... - He pauses. - Both team selectors. Say congratulations to Wolf and Elliot!

- What? - Asks Wolf, as Richard's face changes from a normal expression to a darkned one.

- She gave me the fairy godfather... - Says CC, as Bruno shrugs, not wanting to get in a discussion.

- I know, and shhe can perfectly keep it. But still, who was the first to touch the wand?

- Oh. So it was that, how it worked... - Wolf's expression doesn't change much.

- Before you start selecting, I must tell you a thing. - Keith says. - The being you found, either fairy or genie, must be on your team. You can't pick that.

- I can live with that. - Says Wolf, as Bruno's face doesn't reveal the same feeling.

- Good. - Says Elliot, as Iris appears behind him, with a flag that has "TEAM ELLIOT" on it.

- Ok. - Follows Keith. - With that said, the other picks are up to you. Wolf goes first.

- I pick CC, obviuslly. - Se says, as her friend hurries to her side.

- I felt so relieved to be with a friend... - Explains her at the confessional. - Keith told us we can say our thoughts in here. Have I done it right?

- I am up next. - Says Elliot. - And I pick Richard. - Richard is visibly surprised, but walks to his side, as a smile appears on his face.

- You won't regret it... - Says him. - Or will you? - Says in the confessional. - Now I know he has a genie, so I don't need this competition anymore. I've already found what I was looking for.

- I pick the couple of guys that nearlly killed us. - Says Wolf. - They seem a funny duo.

- We're not a duo! - Says Dallas.

- We're not even friends! - Says Erica. - Just temporaly allies!

- Whatever. I want you both here. - Says Wolf.

- She can do that? - Asks Elliot.

- If you also pick two now, sure... - Says Keith.

- Well, in that case...

- I suggest you to pick Handsome Guy and Swan Lady. - Wishpers Rick on his ear. - They look the most prepared ones... In physicall form, I mean.

- Good tip. - Says Elliot. - I am up for the Prince and the Ballerina. What were your names?

- Ruth. - Says her.

- And I am Jack. - His teeth shine. - But you can call me Prince Jackrming, as long as you're a Royal Lady.

- I'll pick two more now... - Says Wolf. - The brother and sister. They also seem funny.

- Nice choice. - Says Elliot. - I pick Wooden Boy and the dwarf.

- Nice to not be last to be picked... - Says Pinocchio, as he drags Drowsy.

- So.. this is the last choice... - Says Wolf, as she looks at Nieves and Garrett. - I should pick... Hmm... fur coat boy.

- It's not actual fur. - Says Garrett.

- Don't care. Now you're on my team. - She says.

- Well, guess I am on Elliot's... - Says Nieves, as she advances.

- Welcome to the team! - Elliot is about to shake her hand, but she offers it, and he takes long to discover e's supposed to kiss it.

- Well, now you pick the team names! - Says Keith.

- The Big Family? - Says Gretel.

- Team in a shoe? - Asks CC.

- What about the forestals? - Says Dallas.

- Ever After. - Says Erica.

- Ever After sounds nice... - Says Wolf. - We're team Ever After!

- Good choice. - Keith says. - And you?

- Jack's squad! - Says the prince.

- No way! - Say three voices at once.

- Spicy Boom! - Says Iris, creating many small explosions around.

- Spicy Boom? - Asks Elliot, confused.

- Spicy Boom it is! - Says Keith, as the team looks at Iris, that celebrates it with even more booms. - Now that the teams and the team names are selected, what does come next? - Says Keith. - I know what you're thinking! A challenge! What will Team Ever After and Team Spicy Boom have to face? Discover it next episode! I am Keith, and this was... Wood Job!